


I nearly lost you

by EonaSPN



Category: Thai Actor RPF, offgun
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Inaccuries in general, Injury, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Panic and worries, Tagging is difficult, TayNew just at the side, slow burn?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:01:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28958349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EonaSPN/pseuds/EonaSPN
Summary: Gun is not right there when it happens.He just turned away from Off for a few seconds and the next time he sees him, he is bleeding out on the floor. Someone shot him right there in public. What follows is a long painful journey for both of them.Will it bring them closer together?
Relationships: New Thitipoom Techaapaikhun/Tay Tawan Vihokratana, Off Jumpol Adulkittiporn/Gun Atthaphan Phunsawat
Comments: 18
Kudos: 45





	1. The shot falls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,
> 
> Well... I promised myself when I started reading fanfiction that I would never write a story about real people. I obviously didn't keep that promise.  
> I am not particularly proud of myself for that, but after reading one too many comments on YouTube how Off was holding Gun back and only treating him like a toy, this idea wouldn't leave me alone. (Also if that's your opinion kindly turn around and pick a different story, because this one isn't for you. No flames please.) And before I knew it I had written several ten-thousand words for it. By now it's so long that I wanted to upload it.
> 
> The story itself is riddled with inaccuracies because I have no social media accounts so I don't follow any of them and I didn't want to look it up. This is technically an AU anyway. I also have no medical knowledge, much less with that kind of injuries. Everything I know comes from watching cop shows and my own (teeth) surgery. I am just an IT student with an overactive fantasy.
> 
> After "Lost children" finished I wanted another story to continue and this one was the one with the most written after "The unknown spy", but that's already uploaded and on writer's block, so it didn't count. I promise I will try my best to continue that one as well as soon as exams are over.
> 
> Disclaimer: They are their own persons.

Gun isn’t right there when it happens.

It’s another promotional event for School Rangers, held in a big mall, where they are interacting with fans and so on. Off had been the MC for most of the time, fully in his element, and Gun had caught himself too often just staring instead of doing his job, that he is now doing his best to focus on the fans. Subsequently he ends up on one side of the stage when Off hands over the microphone to someone else to get a drink since his throat is sore after speaking for so long.

Nothing seems unusual until Gun hears a muted thump, which he just classifies as a door slamming somewhere, so he ignores it. He is just about to say something when the first scream sounds. He jerks around because it was coming from the other end of the stage. Suddenly more people are screaming and there is a scramble on the other side. Hurriedly he tries to make his way over there, but there are too many people blocking his path and he is once again repeatedly cursing his height.

He can’t understand what’s going on as everyone keeps on talking over each other. All he can identify is ‘blood’, ‘help’ and ‘what happened?’. A chill runs down his spine. Whatever is going on, is not good. He pushes at Arm’s body right in front of him, but the other won’t move, frozen. Worry seeping in, he hastily scans the heads towering over him, for his most important person.

Where is Off? He can’t find him though. New, Arm, Earth,… But no Off. Where – ? His attempts to make himself a way to whatever is happening are becoming more frantic as his bad feeling intensifies. No one seems willing or capable of answering his questions either, so he pushes forward.

Until suddenly Tay’s head pops up from the chaos, “Gun!” he calls out, voice hoarse, “Gun, where are you?”

“Here!” he pushes past someone else to connect with Tay’s wide eyes and the moment he does, he knows whatever the other is about to say isn’t good.

“Gun, you have to get over here!” he waves his hand, his voice stumbling, “It’s-It’s Off! He…”

The older doesn’t have to say anymore as Gun’s eyes go wide and his body goes cold as he now starts shoving his way forward with panic coursing through him. Someone who could be White stumbles aside as Gun pushes him with too much strength, but he can’t bring himself to care. Something happened to Off, is all he can think of. Please don’t let it be too bad.

Finally he stumbles past Earth into the small circle created by GMMTV artists and staff, blocking what’s going on inside from curious onlookers. It takes him several blinks to realize what he is seeing because his brain doesn’t seem to want to comprehend it.

Tay is kneeling on the floor again, his hands covered in a red substance Gun doesn’t want to think about, wide eyes snapping up to the younger man when he stumbles into the circle. New is standing next to him, a hand on his shoulder, face even paler than usual. And then there is Off. Tears prick at Gun’s eyes when his gaze falls on the older man. Off is laying on the floor, placed on his back, with his right shoulder on Tay’s knees. His blue jacket has disappeared and his hair is messy. His eyes are still open but drooping and they seem kind of foggy, blinking from a face that seems way too pale for Gun’s liking. But when the younger’s eyes finally land on his friend’s left shoulder, he nearly falls to his knees. Because Off’s whole left shoulder and chest is covered in red, in blood. A medic from staff is pressing on it to slow the bleeding but it keeps adding to the pool beneath Off despite their efforts.

“Papii…” he chokes out as he stumbles forward to fall to his knees next to Tay who makes space for him, “Papii, what…”

“G… Gun…” Off mumbles through pale lips, hand too weak to reach out properly.

“What h-happened?” Gun looks at Tay as he grabs Off’s hand in his own shaking ones.

“I don’t know,” their friend shakes his head, eyes wide, “At one moment he was fine and then suddenly he-he fell…”

“Gun, keep him awake as best as you can,” the medic interrupts, gaining his attention, “The longer he stays with us the better. He’s losing a lot of blood and the ambulance might still take some time.”

“Okay, okay…” he stutters, eyes locking with Off’s, “Hey, Papii,” he places a shaking hand against the older’s pale cheek, “Look at me, alright? Focus on me,” he offers a shaky smile, purposefully avoiding looking at his friend’s shoulder, as tears start to run down his cheeks, “Just stay with me.”

Off blinks lazily, eyes staying closed for a second until Gun lightly slaps his cheek, “Tired…” he mumbles, “What is…?”

“I-I don’t know,” Gun stutters, “But-But it-it’s going to be fine,” he shakes his head to get some of the tears away, locking eyes with the medic who only gives him a worried look back before refocusing on the bloody chest, “You’re going to be fine, Papii,” he essentially begs to whoever will listen.

“Don’t…” Off tries, only to break his own wobbly speech by a cough, that brings worrying red onto his lips, “Do..n’t cr-cry…” he rasps past the blood in his mouth, “…’m fi…ne…”

“Of course, of course you are,” Gun does some kind of mixture between a laugh and a choke, tears streaming down. Tay makes a strange sound next to them as New pulls him up and into his arms, “Hey, hey, stay with me!” Gun reiterates hastily as Off’s eyes fall closed again, slapping his cheek, “Come on,” he chokes, his own pants and hands now stained by blood.

Off’s eyes blink open again slowly, but they are fogged over and unfocused. It’s clear he can’t actually see Gun anymore as he doesn’t even turn his head in his direction.

“How much longer for the ambulance?” Gun hears New ask above his head to the medic.

“I don’t know, but it shouldn’t be long,” is the nervous answer.

“Will he…” Tay trails off as the small man still works on somehow keeping Off awake.

“If they arrive soon, he should make it,” the medic says, “I hope at least,” he adds lowly under his breath, but Gun hears it anyway and it sends ice racing through his veins.

This can’t be happening. This can’t be… Papii will be fine. He can’t – 

“Keep him awake,” the medic urges again, breaking Gun out of his panic.

“Of course,” he stutters but even he can’t manage to keep Off’s eyes open longer than a few more minutes. He is begging the other to look at him again when shouts to make space sound through the mall and the people hurriedly move to clear a path. Through blurry eyes Gun sees three paramedics with a stretcher rush up to them. The one not carrying anything but a bag hastily kneels down next to their company medic.

“What happened?” she asks, scanning Off’s shoulder.

“I’m not sure. My best guess is a bullet, though I don’t know from where he got shot at. Nobody saw it happening. He just suddenly collapsed with his shoulder bleeding,” their medic makes space as the paramedics hastily get to work.

Gun is extremely reluctant to relinquish his hold on Off as one of the paramedics tries to push him away, “Sir, we need to be able to work freely. Please step aside.”

“No, I – “ he tries but Tay carefully pulls him to his feet.

“The best we can do is leave him with them. They know what they are doing,” his voice is chocked as he wraps Gun in his arms, “Off is going to be just fine.”

“I-I… He has to be…” Gun shakes his head, “I never told him… I never… I can’t…” he mumbles into Tay’s chest.

“I know, I know,” the older tries to calm him, “You can tell him when he wakes up.”

Gun doesn’t give him an answer, just lets himself be hugged, as New has an arm wrapped around Tay’s shoulders, “Did you hear what the medic said?” he whispers to the older.

Wide eyes turn from the small figure in his arms to him, “Yeah, that… that Off was shot?”

“But who would…?”

“I have no clue,” Tay shakes his head, “Maybe he got injured in a different way.”

“But it makes sense from the wound and – “ but he doesn’t get further, because the paramedics have loaded Off onto the stretcher and are preparing to leave which causes Gun to tear away from the hug.

“Can I go with him, please?” he grabs the third paramedic’s arm, eyes wide and glassy.

She stops in the process of packing her bag, looking him up and down, “Are you his family?” he shakes his head, “His…” she hesitates, “Partner?”

Gun is just in the process of shaking his head again when Tay interrupts, “Close enough. Off doesn’t have any other partner.”

The paramedic sighs, “Fine, but hurry up, we need to get to the hospital as fast as possible.”

Gun nods with fear coursing through his veins, “We will follow you by car,” New adds as he grabs Tay at the arm and drags him towards the company cars.

The younger instead runs after the paramedic as fast as he can make his shaking legs move as they hurry to catch up with the stretcher. It’s just been secured in the ambulance as they arrive.

“Take him along,” the paramedic says to her colleagues as Gun climbs into the vehicle next to Off’s unmoving figure, “His partner.”

One of the men just nods while the other doesn’t look up from where he is searching for something in the medicine cabinets. The first one directs Gun to sit on a small seat with seatbelts next to Off’s right arm. He manages to buckle himself in after a few failed tries, before reaching out a hand to hold Off’s. He shudders when the other’s skin is ice cold from loss of blood. Normally Off is emitting a lot of body heat, another reason why Gun loves to hug him, but now the older’s skin is like ice and he unconsciously rubs the fingers in his to warm them up.

Gun can’t listen to what the paramedics are saying. He is mumbling comforting nonsense to Off even though the other can’t hear him and recalling moments from their time together. One time his eyes wander up to where the blood is coming from. Off’s now blood-soaked white shirt has been cut open, exposing his pale skin. A bandage with a padding has been wrapped around the injured shoulder, but blood is still everywhere, already soaking through the fabric as well. Bile rises in Gun’s chest as he sees that so he focuses back on Off’s face, which seems to be getting even paler behind the breathing mask the paramedics have put on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it for the fist chapter. Thanks for reading.
> 
> I'm sorry? Please don't kill me, it's just a story ;)
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated. Hope to see you next chapter.  
> I plan to update every weekend, but the upcoming exams and my mental state might come in conflict with it, so I apologize in advance if there is any delay in uploading.


	2. A few terrifying hours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,
> 
> I managed to update despite the bad internet in my student apartment.
> 
> Just to say it again, I have no medical knowledge whatsoever so this is all made up. Also I love "Theory of Love" a lot so I am probably referencing it more often than is appropriate.
> 
> Disclaimer: Not mine.
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated.

The rest of the ride in the speeding ambulance passes in a haze for Gun, the siren blaring in his ears. Eventually they stop abruptly and the doors fly open as the paramedics detach the stretcher, pushing it outside and out of Gun’s reach. He stumbles down after them but can’t keep up as they push Off inside, explaining what happened to the hospital staff. They take over the stretcher and push it away behind swinging doors. Gun tries to follow them, but is stopped by a nurse in full surgery outfit.

“I’m sorry, but you can’t go past these doors. No civilians allowed,” she says softly.

“But he’s my – “ he tries.

“I’m sorry, not even family members are allowed past those doors. You will have to stay in the waiting room,” she motions to another open door towards the left, “We will inform you when the surgery is done,” he tries to argue, but she shakes her head, “I’m really sorry. There isn’t anything else I can do for you. Do you need me to call someone else for you?”

Gun manages to shake his head, “Our friends are coming.”

“Good,” she gives him an encouraging smile, “Now please go into the waiting room.”

He makes his way to the plastic chairs with shaking legs. A middle aged couple is sitting on one side, looking about as shook as he feels so he just simply ignores them. He sits down in the chair furthest from the door. The last thing he wants right now is to be recognized. Memories pass in front of his eyes as he waits. Another stretcher is rushed past before he hears two sets of hasty footsteps coming up to the door. He doesn’t look up until he hears Tay’s voice call out to him. His movements are slow so by the time he lifts his eyes, his friend is already next to him.

“Hey, Gun,” he falls into the chair next to Gun while New, who still seems to have the clearest mind out of the three of them, goes to get them both a cup of water from the dispenser, “Where… Is he?”

“In surgery,” Gun brings out, “We can’t go past the doors.”

“Do you know – “

“Nothing,” Gun shakes his head, burying his face into Tay’s shoulder, “What if he – “

“He’s gonna be fine. Peng You is strong, he will be fine,” the older says into Gun’s hair, “He’s going to wake up in a few days and scold us for making such a fuss.”

“I’m sure he will,” New tries for a reassuring smile as he holds out one of the water cups to Tay.

The older can’t manage to smile back, but he tugs on Gun’s arm, “You need to drink something, pet.”

“I can’t – “ he shakes his head.

“You have to. You already cried plenty. Peng You wouldn’t want you to see you become like this,” he urges.

At the mention of Off, Gun finally detaches himself from the other’s shirt to take a few sips from the water. Tay smiles a bit as he strokes the small back. He and New continue comforting Gun as they wait for any news from the doctors.

About an hour after Tay’s arrival New manages to convince the other two to take a trip to the bathroom to wash Gun’s face and the blood that is stuck to their hands and arms. The smaller nearly gags when he realizes that there is still some of Off’s blood clinging to his skin, drying where he hasn’t smeared it into Tay’s shirt yet. New carefully steers them towards the bathroom door, promising them to keep an eye out for the doctor.

Tay is mechanically washing his arms and trying to get some of the blood out of his shirt, while Gun is just staring blankly at the mirror ahead of him. His skin color is paler than New, his eyes are red and swollen and the tap water can’t erase the tear tracks on his cheeks. Most of the blood on his arms has been washed off as it didn’t dry completely yet, but his shirt would require more work. So he just stares at his reflection, being strongly reminded of a morbid recreation of Third’s look after Khai’s motorbike accident. Except there is no make-up on his skin to make him look paler and the abnormal red streaks on his white School Ranger t-shirt are real blood not color like they were on Third’s just as white uniform shirt. He shudders and picks up scrubbing at his arms to disperse the last of the blood. Eventually Tay stops him before he can rip his own skin open, pulling him into a tight hug, that Gun reciprocates just as strongly. He can’t hug Off for comfort right now, so he will take the next best person.

“Tay, Gun, are you done?” New calls out from the corridor, “There is a doctor coming.”

The two rush outside, but New shakes his head when they reach him and points at the other couple in the waiting room. They stand away to give them privacy as they first seem to get good news then bad ones. They nod in the end and are led away into the hospital. The three men sink back into the chairs, Gun cuddled between them. A few minutes later a very bloody looking stretcher is rushed past, followed by two women in tears. They join them in the waiting room, as the one who seems to be the mother of the other leads her daughter to a chair. Both of them have scratches on their skin and the younger woman is bleeding from her temple. A car accident most likely. But it reminds New of something.

“Has anyone informed Off’s mother?” he asks, startling the other two, earning himself two wide-eyed headshakes, “I don’t have her number. Someone should call her though before she finds out through the news.”

“I have the number,” Gun nearly drops his phone when he fiddles it out of his pocket, revealing a picture of himself and Off as his background when he manages to unlock his screen. He brings up the contact, but can’t seem to bring himself to press down.

“Do you want me to call for you?” Tay asks.

“I should – “ Gun tries, but his hands shake enough for the older man to steal the device from his fingers.

“It’s okay,” Tay says as he dials the number and pushes Gun into New’s arms to hide there instead, “I will call. You focus on calming down.”

Under Gun’s eyes Tay lifts the cellphone to his ear. It seems to take a few rings until someone picks up. Tay tries to keep his voice steady as he explains what happens to the person on the other end. The call disconnects abruptly as he hands the device back to Gun.

“She is on vacation right now and can’t be back in Bangkok until she manages to get a flight back,” he reports, sinking against New’s broad shoulders in search of comfort. 

The other unwraps one arm from Gun to pull Tay in instead, pressing his lips to the crown of his acting partner’s head. Tay sighs and buries his face deeper into the other’s jacket. Gun is getting kind of squished between the two bigger men, but he isn’t complaining. At least it means he is surrounded by a person’s warmth from all directions.

None of them really knows how long it takes, but to Gun it seems to be an eternity, until the nurse who sent him away earlier finally steps inside the waiting room. A doctor in a surgical gown with way too much blood on it is following her. The small man breaks out from between his friends who hastily follow him as he rushes over to the two medical workers. The nurse gives him an encouraging nod as he stops in front of them.

“Are you here for the man with the shot wound?” the doctor asks. He smiles as they nod, “The surgery went well. The bullet went through him without injuring the heart. It nicked a major artery though so he lost a lot of blood, but he should recover from that. It will take some time and he will continue to sleep for a few more days because his body needs to replace what he lost, but after that he will be on his way to recovery as long as nothing else goes wrong.”

Gun sags, needing New to catch him as Tay says, “But there was so much blood…”

“Yes, the bullet hit some big blood vessels which is why it bled so much. We closed them during the surgery. We also made sure that his body has enough blood to replace the rest on his own. You just need to have some patience,” he reassures them.

“Will he have lasting consequences from this?” New asks

“A scar of course,” the doctor answers, “But other than that, he shouldn’t. Unless something else goes wrong of course. Which is unlikely, but can never be discounted.”

“What he means to say,” the nurse interrupts him, “Is that your friend will be fine. He is sleeping now after the surgery and he will remain asleep for the next several days because his body needs to replace the blood he lost. But he should wake up within the week.”

“Thank you,” Gun breathes, earning himself two smiles from them, “Thank you so much.”

“It’s our duty,” the nurse says, “Now, do you want me to bring you to him?”

“Yes, please,” the smaller nods.


	3. After the surgery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,
> 
> the exams are over. One went well, the others... Well, let's not talk about those...
> 
> Disclaimer: not mine.

The doctor disappears back behind the surgery doors while the nurse tells them to disinfect their hands before leading them deeper into the hospital. A short walk and elevator ride later, she stops in front of a door like any other. Off’s whole name is on the plate next to the door.

“Please try to limit the number of people inside the room to less than five unless necessary. Also don’t be too loud as he needs as much rest as he can get. If he wakes up before his body is ready, it could do him additional harm,” she explains with a stern face.

“Can I…” Gun takes a deep breath, “Can I hold his hand?”

“You can touch him, but make sure your hands are clean. And be extra careful before he wakes up for the first time,” she smiles at him, “Your partner will be alright.”

Nobody seems willing to correct the nurse on her misconception about Off and Gun’s relationship as they thank her a last time before walking up to the plain door. Gun’s hands are too shaky to open it, so Tay does it for him while New stays back to discuss something with the nurse. Pushing his friend forward, Tay steps into the hospital room. He knows Gun hates hospitals and seeing Off like this is going to make it worse, but it makes no sense to stay frozen on the hallway now. The nurse already reassured them that their friend is going to be fine.

That doesn’t make it any easier to see Off laying there with an IV attached to him, a monitor to keep track of his vitals and an oxygen mask over his face. His usually warm skin is pale and his eyes are closed as he breathes slowly under the mask. Tay is pushing Gun until he falls into the chair on the other side of the bed, because Off’s left arm is tied in a sling, making it impossible for Gun to touch his hand, so Tay seats him on his right. Immediately the younger man grabs the unresponsive hand.

“I am so glad you are okay,” Gun sighs as he sags forward onto Off’s hospital bed, “I couldn’t have lived with myself if you… if you…” he trails off into sniffles.

“Don’t think about that,” Tay squeezes his shoulder, “He’s alive and going to recover. That’s all that matters now.”

“Thank you,” Gun gives a wobbly smile up to his friend, “For staying with me tonight.”

“Off is my friend too,” Tay smiles back, “I couldn’t have calmed down at home either.”

“Which is why I drove you here,” New adds as he steps up to their side, “We will inform the others once you two have calmed down a bit.”

“Yes, thank you,” Tay says as he curls into New’s willing arms which automatically wrap tightly around him. He shudders in his friend’s hold as the other strokes his back, murmuring comforting words into his ear. Gun looks at the pair with the slightest hint of envy as he carefully squeezes Off’s cold hand. He wants nothing more than to curl into the other too, just like he always does when life becomes too much. It’s just not an option right now, so he lets his friends hug in peace while he carefully strokes a hand over Off’s cheek.

“Wake up soon, Papii,” he whispers, “I miss you already. You gave me a right scare,” he tries with a wobbly smile, “Please don’t ever do something like that,” he shudders.

“I don’t think he was planning on something like this happening,” Tay’s voice sounds from somewhere against New’s chest, “Peng You is a dramatic person, but this is too much even for him,” he tries for levity but fails.

New strokes his head as he guides him to sit down on the small couch with him, arms never letting go of the older man. It’s clear a big part of the stress from the last hours is seeping out of Tay, which leaves him with shaky limbs and in need of some human comfort. He buries himself deep into New’s body, hiding his face from Gun. The smaller can’t let go of all that tension just yet though, so he just remains sitting at Off’s bedside, watching him.

Their momentary peace is interrupted by the door opening and a young doctor with a clipboard stepping in. He looks up in surprise when he sees three people already there in addition to his patient.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he greets them, but none of them can spare more than one arm to reciprocate it, “I have to check something and give him some medicine,” he explains as a nurse steps in behind him.

Recognizing that there are now five people in the room, New pulls Tay onto his feet, “We will get something to drink and a sandwich or something before you collapse, Gun,” he nods at the small man, who returns the gesture before refocusing on Off.

The doctor smiles carefully at Gun, “Is he your… partner?” he asks.

“No,” the smaller shakes his head, “I mean on screen, he is. He’s my acting partner, but not in the way you’re thinking,” he directs suspicious eyes at the doctor.

“I’m sorry for asking. I am not judging don’t worry, my partner is also a man,” the man apologizes, while the nurse rolls her eyes, attaching a vial of medicine to Off’s IV.

“It’s alright, doctor…”

“Ah, my name is Thara,” the doctor taps his nametag, before going to work, doing something Gun can’t bring himself to care about.

“Were you there during the surgery?” he asks, not averting his eyes from Off’s face.

“Assisting, yes. I only graduated a good year ago,” he explains.

“Can you tell me what happened to Off then?” wide eyes look up now, “I was a some distance away from him when he fell.”

“He was shot by a bullet that missed his heart by a bit. If it had hit his heart, it would have been much worse. Luckily it didn’t, only destroying blood vessels. I can’ t tell you much more either. I am not a policeman, I can only patch people up,” he smiles, “But your partner will be fine.”

“Doctor Thara,” the nurse had already left but sticks his head back in, “You should continue your rounds, not chat.”

“Of course,” he nods, “Please bring him a flower,” he tells the nurse who sighs before turning to Gun, “Excuse me. I will be back to check on him again in two hours. We need to keep a closer eye for the first few hours after surgery.”

“Of course, thank you,” Gun says his goodbyes to the doctor.

Tay and New haven’t gotten back yet, so his upper body sinks forward onto the hospital bed. His head ends up resting against Off’s side as he blinks up at the other’s unresponsive face.

Tay’s movements aren’t the fastest at the moment, so it takes New some time to steer him to cafeteria to buy some packaged food and drinks, and back up to the room. When they step back inside, Gun is half laying on the bed as well, sunken forward, breaths evened out. He passed out from the exhaustion, they all had busy days before this so they were already tired in the morning and the stress took him out. Tay grabs the blanket from the couch to cover the small body with it. New steers him back towards the entry area to sit down and at least drink something since opening the food would be too loud and wake Gun up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for today. Thanks for reading.
> 
> Who caught the reference? You get three guesses who the doctor's partner is.
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated.  
> See you in the next chapter.


	4. An interview

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,
> 
> sorry for the delays in posting. Unfortunately there aren't enough hours in a day for me to do everything I want to and I forget about updating. Not to mention I am not particularly sure about my own story anymore.
> 
> Anyway, Disclaimer: Not mine. Also this chapter wasn't proofread and I might have gotten some of the circumstances wrong. If I wrote something offensive, please tell me, otherwise I am happy keeping it vague.
> 
> Now that that's out of the way, I need to unload. I know not many people read this story and even fewer the author's note and I don't blame anyone. So please skip this and go straight to the story if you don't want to hear me ramble and bitch. But I feel as if I would suffocate if I don't write it out somewhere and I don't have any social media, so the author's note will have to do. You are welcome to skip it though like I said.
> 
> First, happy birthday to myself.  
> That makes it my second birthday during lockdown. I am not a party person, but the situation still sucks. At least I still live with my parents, so I'm not alone.
> 
> Second, unloading. I didn't ask for any presents for me birthday. I didn't want any, except one thing. And that's one evening where the whole family played board games. Now when my mother brought it up to my father, he immediately said we wouldn't play certain games because he didn't like them much (or whatever reason he has). I already know that even if I can convince them to join me, I will just spend the whole evening listening to my brother complain when we will stop playing and my father ask to stop playing after ever round. I don't have the patience for that. And I also don't want to have to fight with my family. It's my only wish for my birthday. Is it too much to ask for a few hours on one evening where we just do what I want? I guess it is.  
> I hate how much that affects me. It shouldn't. It's nothing compared to what some other people have to suffer and it's nothing in general. Most days I can just smile and ignore it, but unfortunately not today. So I just needed to rant somewhere.
> 
> To anyone who read until here thank you for listening. Sorry for unloading here.  
> For now I will just watch Run BTS, because they always manage to make me smile even when I am having a bad day. So for anyone who needs a pick-me-up, watching that (at least certain episodes) always works for me. After that I will feel better.  
> Please enjoy the story, I will try to keep my emotional rambling down in the furture.

Tay is also still resting on New’s shoulder, while the younger strokes his hair. The older’s eyes don’t leave his friend’s unmoving figure on the bed. He doesn’t fall asleep like Gun did, but he clearly doesn’t have the energy to move either. At least until the door slams open and Kwang stumbles inside, startling the two on the couch and ripping Gun back to wakefulness.

“Oh my god, what happened to Off?” her wide eyes land on the unmoving figure.

Gun blinks in confusion for a few moments before his eyes snap back to Off. He breathes out in relief when the older is still sleeping there, obviously not having moved an inch. New pulls Tay back onto his feet, wobbly as they are.

“Please keep the noise down, P’Kwang,” he says, even though the woman isn’t looking at him, “Peng You needs calm and rest.”

“I’m sorry,” she blinks, “I just… I heard what happened late and… I couldn’t believe it…” she takes a shuddering breath, “Is he.. okay?”

“He will recover,” Tay says with a weak smile, “But it will take some time. He was in surgery several hours.”

Kwang lifts a hand over her mouth, “What exactly happened then? Nobody could clearly tell me that.”

“I don’t know for sure either.”

“The doctor who did the checkup said it was a bullet shot, not… Not far from his heart…” the small man answers, finally looking away from Off.

“But it missed?” she has to ask, sagging in relief at the nod she receives, “Alright,” she sighs, “Who has been informed yet?”

“Off’s mother. We haven’t talked to anyone else yet,” New explains, one arm still wrapped around Tay’s waist to steady him, “What has been going on? It happened pretty publicly.”

“Yes, it did. A first statement has been released, but we didn’t really know anything at the time. Social media blew up, of course, and the news also covered it,” she responds with a sigh, attempting to focus on her work while her worried eyes keep on darting to Off, “You three didn’t look at any social media, did you?” it earns her headshakes, “Luckily no one knows which hospital they took him to, but the company still needs to release a statement. It would be good if either of you could appear too.”

“Do we really need to discuss this now?” Gun interrupts, face pinched and voice desperate, “It has only been some hours since it happened.”

“We have to, Gun. I’m sorry,” Kwang looks at him with pained eyes, “If Off really got shot in a public area, we need to release a statement, alone to find who did it. Not to mention your Babiis would want to know that he is going to recover, right?”

Gun sighs, “Yes, but – “

“You are public figures, it’s not that easy. Even if you were no one, the press would need to know about a shooting in a public mall,” Kwang can’t manage to hold Gun’s eyes.

“You don’t have to step in front of the camera,” Tay says, moving next to his friend to squeeze his small shoulders, “We will do it for you. You can stay here with Off, while the company deals with the publicity and reassures your fans.”

Kwang nods in agreement and Gun gives them a thankful smile before turning away again, “Okay, okay,” the woman claps her hands together, “This will all go back to normal at some point. We can deal with this,” she runs a hand through her hair, “Off will be alright.”

“He will be,” Tay adds with a soft smile towards his friend.

Kwang’s phone ringing startles them all, “I’m sorry, I have to take this,” she says as she bows out of the hospital room.

There isn’t even enough time for New and Tay to settle down properly on the couch again when there is a knock on the door. Before either of them can call out, it opens and a policeman steps inside. He greets them politely and Tay and New bow back.

“I am sorry for the interruption. I am here to investigate the shooting,” he introduces himself politely, “My name is Sorn.”

“It’s only been a few hours…”

“The sooner we do it, the better. People’s memories are the clearest directly after the incident. If we wait longer, they will become unclear. You might not remember certain things anymore,” the policeman explains.

“I don’t think we can tell you much, but of course,” Tay says, “If it helps find… find whoever… did this to Off, we will do anything. Right Gun?”

The smaller man looks up, “Of course,” he doesn’t let go of Off’s hand, but he turns his body mostly towards the policeman.

Sorn pulls out a notepad, “Thank you. Now first I need you to state all your full names for protocol, including the victim’s,” Tay swallows at the way he’s referring to Off, but does as told anyway, “How long have you known the victim? I mean, P’Off. And what is your current relationship to him?”

“It’s been many years now,” Tay shakes his head, “He and I lived together for a certain amount of time and see each other at work regularly. We go on trips together. We’re really good friends. Not much else to say.”

“And you?” Sorn turns to Gun.

“It’s been a good five years now.”

“So not as long as those two?”

“No, we first met when we were cast on a series together, some time after he met Tay and New.”

“Right, you’re actors after all. And your relationship with him?” he asks with a pointed look at their joined hands.

“Close work partners and friends. He has played my partner on screen several times and has been supporting me off screen,” he explains in a shaky voice.

“So you…”

“Are not in a romantic relationship,” Tay throws in, “If that’s what you’re about to ask, we’ve had that confusion several times today already,” he ignores how Gun flinches as that’s not a discussion for right now.

“I apologize for the assumptions. Now where were you when the shot fell?”

“Is it already clear that it was a shot?” Tay asks.

“Yes, a bullet was found on the floor of the mall and the doctors confirmed that the injury is a shot wound. I can’t tell you any more details though. So were you there?”

“We were at the event, yes,” Tay answers, “But not right there next to Off, no,” he sees Gun freeze and squeeze Off’s hand in the corner of his eyes, but focuses on the policeman’s interrogation.

“What happened exactly?”

“We were entertaining the fans. Off had been talking for a long time, so he wanted to drink something. I threw him a look while he walked there, but then turned to the fans again. I mean,” he stutters, “Off is a grown man, he doesn’t need me to hold his hand while he drinks his water. I… I… Who could have expected s-something like that?”

“No one, don’t worry. How far away were you?”

“Not far. He was out of my arm’s reach, but it took me only a few steps to get to him once he c-collapsed,” he swallows nervously.

“Alright. You?”

“I was right beside Tay,” New answers, “On the other side away from Off.”

“I can confirm that. He didn’t leave my side since the event started,” Tay agrees, “Gun?”

“Uhm… Uh, I…” Gun clears his throat, “I was, uh…, on-on the other side of the stage. Away from him.”

“Okay, sir. Are you not telling us something?” the policeman frowns suspiciously at his stuttering.

“No, I just ended up on the other side of the stage by coincidence. Pap… Off was busy being MC, I had no reason to interrupt him. It is my job to entertain the fans after all,” Gun shakes his head with wide eyes.

“Hey, the person who would be his rock in a situation like this just got shot and is laying unconscious in a hospital bed. I would think it’s normal he’s a bit out of it. Show some respect,” Tay immediately jumps to his friend’s defense.

“I did not mean it that way. We just need to know as much as possible to find the shooter,” the policeman bows his head.

“Right before… Right before it… happened I wasn’t looking in P’Off’s direction. I was simply interacting with fans. I’m sure at least one of them took a video. If you ask publicly, they should be able to give it to you, if… if…” he stutters, “If you’re… you’re…”

“We are not suspecting you,” Sorn immediately assures him, “You were standing right there with him after all. If anything I would be worried you could be another target, not the suspect.”

“If he wanted to hit Gun, he missed by a lot,” Tay frowns, “They couldn’t have been standing further apart if they wanted in the crowded mall. Was the shooter aiming for someone else?”

“We don’t know for sure, of course,” Sorn shakes his head, “But from what we can tell up until now, Off was the target and only him. Talking about that, would there have been enough time between the one shot and you realizing what happened, that more people could have been hit?”

Tay and New exchange a look, “I have never held a weapon, unless it was for acting purposes, much less fired one. So I don’t know how long it takes to fire another shot, but I guess so, yes. Off was a bit towards the back and even though there was most likely some fan only focused on Off, they wouldn’t have understood what happened immediately,” he tries his best to be rational about this, but fails, so New has to take over, “I remember hearing a thud. I’m not sure what that was, but there were at least one or two seconds before the first girl started screaming. I guess there would have been time to… to shoot someone else.”

“Who was closest to him when it happened?”

“Earth, I guess?” New shrugs, exchanging a nod with Tay, before adding Earth’s complete name.

“Alright, so assuming he was the only target, do you know anyone who would want to harm your friend?”

“No, not really… I mean,” Tay shrugs helplessly, “Off is not the most polite person and I’m sure he offended plenty of people, but I can’t think of anything bad enough for-for this…”

New also shakes his head, “Well, we’re actors. There are always people who write hate messages on Twitter and so on. But none of that is serious enough to be a danger. If there was someone among them dangerous enough, our management would make sure we’re safe,” he turns around, “Gun, you know him better than us. Can you think of something?”

“No,” the smaller shakes his head, “I’m sorry…”

“No problem. Does he have any closer relations we should look into?” Sorn asks.

“He has no girlfriend. His mother is out on vacation at the moment. Gun and Tay are here, Arm should be back at GMMTV…” New lists of.

“Okay, so no current partner. Any exes we should know about?”

“Isn’t that a bit too private?” Gun interjects again.

“If he was the only target, it was most likely personal. An ex is always a possible suspect,” Sorn tries to calm him.

“Uhm, Off had a girlfriend for several years when I met him. They broke up over a year ago. It was an amicable breakup though. She moved away for work reasons, so they decided to end things,” Gun shrugs, “From what he told me, they had already been drifting apart before that, so it was the most logical choice. Both of them agreed, so they broke up with no hard feelings. They are still friends who call each other on occasion. She doesn’t even live in Thailand anymore.”

“Alright, can you give me her name anyway.”

“Of course.”

“Another question. Was there anything that seemed strange on that day?”

“Such as? Nothing as far as I can remember,” Tay shakes his head.

“You’ve done events like this before, right? Was anything different from normal?”

The three exchange a look, “No, everything seemed as always. The managers told us the usual stuff, Off didn’t seem any different.”

“He was tired,” Gun throws in.

“We were all tired,” Tay sighs, “It’s been a few busy days. I don’t think any of us had more than five hours of sleep last night after the talkshow. And Peng You isn’t a morning person to begin with.”

“Also true,” the smaller sighs, “I don’t remember anything unusual either.”

“Okay, anything else you remember?” when that earns him three headshakes, he nods, “If you think of something else, please call me,” he hands out a card to New, who accepts it with a bow.

“Have you talked to Arm yet?” Tay suddenly throws in, “He might have seen something. He was looking in Off’s direction when it happened, I think.”

“We will do that. Give me his complete name, please.”

After getting that last information, Sorn thanks them for their time and after saying his goodbyes, he leaves them alone. 

As soon as he’s out the door, Gun sags and New has to wrap his arms tighter around Tay to keep him from stumbling. Only when he notices that Gun’s shoulders are trembling, does he stand straight again. Exchanging a wide-eyed look with New, he hurries over to their small friend, wrapping him in their embrace.

“Gun, what’s wrong? Off will be fine, he will recover,” he wraps the younger’s shoulders, “Calm down. It’s going to be okay.”

“It’s… It’s… I just…” he stumbles, new tears cascading down his cheeks.

“Hey, look at me,” Tay turns Gun’s face to him, “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I… I wasn’t there…” he finally breathes.

“You weren’t where?” Tay crouches in front of him, taking Gun’s free hand.

“I wasn’t there with him,” he says, darting his eyes to Off, “He was alone…”

“Oh, pet,” Tay hugs him again, “You were there. Only a few steps away. Off saw you before he passed out, didn’t he?” he rubs the small back, “And even if you weren’t. It is okay, you can’t be with him 24/7 and no one could have expected something like this happening. No one would ever blame you for that.”

“I just feel like… I looked away for a few minutes and the next time I look back, he… He’s bleeding out on the floor,” he blinks his tears away.

“Don’t think like that, Gun. Don’t even start. It’s nothing like that. Off is a grown man. You don’t have to watch him the whole time. You have let him out of your sight plenty of times and it was fine. And it will be fine again in the future,” he hugs him tight, “They will catch whoever did this and then Off will be safe again.”

“I still don’t want to leave him out of my sight ever again,” he tries to hide his words in Tay’s chest, but the others hear them anyway.

“I’m sure Off will be happy to let you stay with him when gets out of here. He will probably have to keep his left arm immobile for some time, which means he will need some help at home,” Tay grins, “You can be like Third and Khai. I know, we’re always teasing you two about that, but – “

“I know, Tay, I know,” Gun pushes his shoulder, but shudders nonetheless, “When we filmed those scenes,” he shakes his head, “I remember thinking that I never want to experience something like that. And now it’s actually happened…”

“It’s going to be fine,” Tay reiterates, “We have already been told that Off will recover.”

“I know,” he takes a deep breath, “Still, even then, seeing Papii wrapped up like that… I knew it was just makeup and dry bandages, but it looked real enough when I ignored the cameras…” he chuckles helplessly, “Let’s just say it wasn’t difficult to imagine and act out Third’s feelings.”

“I’m sorry…” the other two have no idea what to say to that.

Gun takes a deep breath, “At least once the filming was over, I could go over to him and hug him. Make sure he was actually fine. I needed that, but right now, I can’t do that.”

“I saw the picture,” Tay nods, “One of the staff photographed it and sent it to me. Off was still covered in the fake blood, but he still sat down in the corner with you to let you rest with your face in his neck. Both of you had your arms wrapped so tightly around each other…” he smiles softly, “I’m glad she never posted it.”

“Me too,” Gun smiles as well, remembering that moment, “I didn’t even realize someone took a picture.”

“You weren’t paying attention to that,” Tay rubs the smaller’s back a last time before letting him go, “Understandably.”

New reaches a hand out to Tay as the older gets back up, though he still has a hand on Gun’s shoulder.

“We should get fresh clothes,” New throws in after a few minutes of silence, “Both of you still have bloodstains on your shirts. Not to mention, getting out of those uniforms would be a good idea.”

Tay stares down at the smudged red on his shirt as Gun shudders by the bed, “Yeah, that’s a good idea. Pet, are you coming with us to get some clothes?”

To none of their surprise, the smaller shakes his head, “I don’t… I don’t think I can leave Papii just yet. Could you maybe bring me something?”

“Sure,” New smiles, ruffling his hair, “Come on, Tay. We will be back in at most a few hours. Will you be okay here alone, Gun?”

“I’m not alone, am I?” he gives them a wobbly smile. But when that doesn’t reassure them, he adds, “I will be fine. As long as I can see Papii and be sure nothing else is happening to him, I will be okay.”

“Call someone if it becomes overwhelming again, alright?” Tay says with worry in his voice.

“Of course,” Gun agrees, “Now go. You look ready to collapse.”

“As if you look any better. Sleep a bit if you can,” he nods at his friend, “See you later.”

“See you,” Gun waves at them as they walk out the door.

The door closes and silence descends over the room, only interrupted by the beeping of the vital monitor. A shiver runs down Gun’s spine, the silence is deafening. But luckily one look at Off’s face, even though he is sleeping, calms the panic in his heart. Now that he is alone, he gets up to sit on the hospital bed next to Off’s body. His right hand is holding the other’s while the left one lifts to stroke the pale cheek. Not being able to stop himself, he leans forward to press a soft kiss to the same spot he was just caressing, just above the strap holding the oxygen mask in place. Keeping any touch featherlight, he lets his face drift down and presses his lips against Off’s neck, trying to catch his unique scent. It’s barely there though and that makes nausea rise in Gun’s chest. Papii’s scent has always calmed him down, but now he mostly smells blood, disinfectant and the smell that all hospitals seem to possess, one that makes him want to gag. So he lifts his upper body away from Off again.

“Wake up soon, Papii, na,” he whispers, stroking his cheek, “Gun misses you and needs you to be there with him.”

Off doesn’t react, too deeply unconscious to register anything. Gun sighs, before slipping down, crawling into the small space between Off and the edge of the bed. For once he is glad that he has remained so small, he isn’t sure he could have fit himself onto the bed with his friend otherwise. He isn’t sure whether he is allowed to do this, so he makes sure that he isn’t touching Off any more than holding his hand. His eyes are heavy and irritated from crying but he doesn’t want to fall asleep. He knows how much he moves around while asleep and even exhaustion won’t stop that habit. The last thing he wants is to accidently hit Off, so he forces himself to stay awake, just looking at the still figure of his friend.


	5. The first evening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,
> 
> Thank you so much for the comments on my last chapter. I apologize for unloading in the author's note, but your words did help me feel better.  
> I was having a bad day, but luckily I am better now. So thanks again.
> 
> Long chapter today because I didn't want to figure out how to seperate it.  
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated.
> 
> Disclaimer: Not mine.

“Is Gun going to be okay?” Tay asks as New leads him towards their car parked in the hospital garage.

“Once Off wakes up, I’m sure he will be,” the younger sighs, “A bit of therapy and some time might be needed though.”

Tay nods, body sagging heavier into New’s arms. The younger doesn’t say anything until he has maneuvered him into the passenger seat of the car.

“Are you going to be okay, though?” he asks with worried eyes.

“Not in the car, yeah,” Tay gives him a wobbly smiles, “Fresh clothes first, alright? I need a few minutes.”

“Of course. Let’s go to your apartment first,” New clears his throat to remain strong for his friend.

The car is silent as they drive, only low music playing in the background. It’s different from the frantic drive to the hospital where Tay was ready to tear out of his seatbelt any second, hands grasping at anything he could reach, New included. The younger had tried his best to remain calm but wasn’t particularly successful when he heard Tay crying on the passenger seat. Now the older is like a wax figure, frozen in his position, eyes staring out of the window vacantly. New detaches one hand from the steering wheel to reach for Tay’s which immediately grips back with a tight hold. It is the only reaction Tay shows throughout the whole car ride, but it seems to calm him down a bit.

Eventually New pulls into a parking spot close to Tay’s apartment. The older gives him a soft smile before getting out on his own, leading them up to his door.

“Thanks for staying with me,” he says softly to New, “Do you want some clothes from me or are we going to your apartment next?”

“No problem. And if it’s okay, I would rather borrow some clothes.”

“Sure, wait here,” Tay nods before walking over to his bedroom.

He opens his closet with shaking hands. He digs out two sets of pants and shirts, one a bit larger so it will fit New as well. He quickly changes his pants, but when he pulls his shirt over his head, he freezes. There is still blood on it, difficult to wash out as it is. That’s his best friend’s blood… His… He shudders, hands shaking badly. He isn’t sure how long he stands there, frozen.

Suddenly strong arms wrap around him from behind and a face digs itself in between his shoulder blades. He can feel the breath on his skin, faster than normal. Just like the arms that are shaking. He grips those hands, shirt dropping to the floor, as he presses back against the body enveloping him completely from behind. Suddenly he feels wet drops on the bare skin of his back.

“Newwie…” he whispers.

“Tay, Tay…” the other responds, voice just as breathy, “I was so scared…”

“Off and Gun will be fine,” the older repeats to himself.

“That’s not… not what I meant,” New shakes his head against his skin, “I was… When I saw Off like that…” he swallows, pressing his face closer to his partner’s back, “All-All I could think about was-was y-you… like that…” a shiver runs through his whole body, “Bleeding and unconscious…. I was so scared.”

“Oh, Newwie…” Tay breathes, eyes filling with tears as well, “I’m fine. Nothing is going to happen to me, just as nothing is going to happen to you,” he says with conviction as he turns around and wraps his own arms around New, the younger burying his face into Tay’s neck, “Off and Gun will be okay. This was a single occurrence and nothing like that is going to happen to any of us,” he tries to reassure the other, even though his eyes are full of tears at the thought that the same might happen to New. Seeing Off like that was bad enough…

They just hold each other for quite some time, crying and gaining comfort from being together. Here they don’t have to keep up any façade to keep Gun or Tay as calm as possible, but can just let it all out. Neither of them cares that Tay is bare-chested, the bloodstained shirt still behind them on the floor.

Eventually they do detach from each other. New cleans the tears from Tay’s face before rubbing away his own.

“Come on. We still have to get clothes for Gun and maybe make a visit to the GMMTV building too.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? P’Kwang said the shooting is already on the news, so people are most likely already flocking to the GMMTV building,” Tay suggests.

“True. Maybe a video call might be better. If P’Kwang hasn’t already told them, it’s good idea to do it ourselves. To reassure them that Off will be fine,” New agrees, “But clothes for Gun are first.”

Tay nods, “I don’t have any keys to Gun’s apartment though and I forgot to ask him for them.”

“P’Kwang maybe?”

“She might have them, but we can just go to Off’s apartment instead. I have a spare key for that one and he always keeps a few of Gun’s clothes there,” the older suggests.

“Won’t there be people at his apartment too?”

“I don’t think his address is public knowledge,” Tay shakes his head, “He made sure of that with his new apartment.”

“Okay, let’s change and get going,” New smiles at his partner, “You must be getting cold.”

“I’m fine, you were keeping me warm after all,” the older gives back as he throws the clothes at New.

Tay pulls the fresh shirt on, immediately feeling cleaner without Off’s blood against his skin. The younger changes right in front of him without any shame. They have undressed in front of each other plenty of times, both for acting as well as for convenience at work, because there were no other rooms available. So neither is really embarrassed by that. They exchange a careful smile before clasping hands and heading out.

The drive to Off’s apartment is also unusually silent, but by far not as tense as the last time. Just like Tay predicted, there is no abnormal group of people here, so they park and pull on facemasks that someone had left in the car. A last look, then they exit the car. A short walk up to Off’s apartment later, New has a hand on Tay’s shoulder as the older takes a deep breath before unlocking the door and entering. It feels strange to enter the rooms without Off actually there, but he reminds himself that his friend is alive and will recover. New always by his side he walks on to the extensive wardrobe. He frowns as he stands right in front of it.

“Right, now which ones are Gun’s clothes? I have no clue how Off organizes his clothes.”

“I don’t know, but maybe it might be a comfort to him if we bring him some of Off’s clothes in the first place,” New suggests.

“It might be, he always said he liked his scent,” he shrugs, “Or it might make his pain worse, who knows.”

“Let’s look for a bit, but I don’t want to dig for too long as that would feel as if we’re invading his privacy. If we find some smaller clothes we take those and Off’s and if we don’t find any, we can just stick with Off’s only. Sounds good?”

“Yeah,” Tay runs a hand through his hair, “Sorry, I’m a bit frazzled.”

“No worries, remember what you said to the policeman about Gun? You have a right to be upset,” New smiles, giving his friend a one-armed hug.

“I don’t have a crush on Off though,” the older snorts.

“No, but he’s your best friend. That’s just as much of a reason.”

“Hm,” Tay hums in agreement, “Let’s do the video call now.”

“Sure,” New says, stepping close to him, so they can fit on one phone screen.

“Arm? Or Jennie?” Tay unlocks his phone, “Uh, Jennie I guess, from the number of missed calls I have here,” he sighs and dials.

It barely rings two times before it picks up and Jennie is screeching through the phone, “Tay Tawan! Why didn’t you pick up? What is going on? I saw the news and-and…” her phone shakes badly, “P’Kwang rushed through here earlier, but she didn’t talk to anyone and police came to talk to Arm, but no one’s talking to us and – “

“Calm down, P’Jennie,” Tay tries to stop her rant.

“How can I calm down?! Off is – “ she yells.

“Going to recover,” Tay screams in between.

“What…?” she stumbles over her words.

“Peng You will recover. He was taken to surgery immediately and after several hours we were told that he would recover. He will be asleep for several days but he’s okay,” he explains.

“Oh, thank heavens…” P’Jennie sinks into a chair, “Guys, he will be fine!” she yells into the office behind her, resulting in a lot of responses that Tay and New can’t understand.

“Are you sure?” she asks her phone as a scramble breaks out behind her.

“Yes,” Tay tries his best to give her a smile, “The doctors assured us that as long as nothing goes wrong, Off will be just fine.”

“I still can’t believe he got actually shot,” her eyes are glassy, “Did that actually happen?”

“Well, judging from the fact that he is laid out unconscious in the hospital with a hole in his shoulder, I would say it did,” he attempts a joke.

“This is no laughing matter, Tay,” she scolds him.

“I know. I spent several hours with an inconsolable Gun at the hospital. Not to mention I saw my best friend laying there pale as a corpse. I know, Jennie,” he glares as New massages his shoulders in an attempt to calm him

“I’m so – “ she starts.

“And how is my son?” Godji suddenly breaks in from the side next to Jennie.

“Gun?” Tay sighs, “Doing as well as can be expected. He’s exhausted and has been crying for most of the time since it happened. He hasn’t moved from Off’s bedside since we were allowed in, but he has been doing better since he knows that he will recover. We’re going back to him with fresh clothes as soon as we finish this video call.”

“Then go now,” Godji takes the phone from Jennie under many protests, “Gun needs you much more than we do right now. You told us that Off will be fine and we can ask P’Kwang for the details.”

“Hey! Wait! I wanted to ask them – “ Jennie protests, but before Tay can react, the screen goes black. Godji has apparently ended the call. The two of them blink at each other for a moment, then they snort.

“Let’s look for clothes,” New says amongst tired chuckles.

“Yeah,” Tay sags against the wardrobe, “Heavens, I just feel like sleeping right now.”

“I can take you back home once Gun has his clothes,” the younger offers.

The other shakes his head, “I don’t wanna leave Gun on his own on the first night. It’s difficult enough for him.”

“Don’t just think about other people, think about yourself as well,” New gives him a short hug, “I will call someone else, and then I will take you home,” Tay shakes his head again, exhaustion in his eyes, “Both you and Gun need to sleep. But he won’t leave Off’s side, so he will have to stay with him at the hospital. You can’t sleep there as well though, so we’re going to call Arm once we’re back with Gun and you are leaving the hospital with me.”

“Newwie,” the older sighs, “I don’t think I can sleep anyway right now. At least not where I can’t see Off.”

“That couch barely fits Gun, Tay. You can’t sleep there,” New wraps him back into his arms, “Do you maybe want me to stay with you tonight? Perhaps you can sleep then.”

The other sighs, but sags in surrender, “Alright, we can try. Thank you,” he says, looking straight into New’s eyes, “Thank you so much for being there with me today. I’m not sure I could have made it without you.”

“For you always,” he reciprocates the hug immediately, “I will always be there for you. You deserve to have the best friends.”

“You are,” Tay smiles while finally detaching himself, “Now let’s finally get going on clothes. We’ve wasted enough time already.”

New nods as the other steps away from him. They go through some of Off’s clothes. They manage to find a smaller pair of sweatpants, but are lost on the shirts. But Tay knows that Off and Gun both exchange clothes on occasion anyway, at least as long as they don’t have to step in front of a camera. He has seen his friend wear a shirt he remembers from Gun’s bag more than once. So in the end they take one of Off’s Hawaiian shirts, one of his sweaters and an older cartoon shirt that might be Gun’s, but neither of them is sure. The clothes are stuffed in a bag and they leave Off’s apartment again. A calm drive later, they park back in the hospital garage.

“I’m already beginning to hate hospitals,” Tay sighs as he gets out of the car.

“I don’t think anyone likes them,” New responds calmly, “Poor Gun.”

The older nods and they make their way back to Off’s room, facemasks on, just to be sure. No one stops them luckily. They are careful opening the door to not disturb Gun. They shouldn’t have worried as much though as the younger seems to have drifted off again, curled on the bed next to Off. He is still making sure to leave air between himself and the injured man. From the indents in the blanket under him, he has not moved an inch since he fell asleep. Gun must be really drained.

“Should we leave him asleep?” New whispers, “He needs it.”

“No, he needs to change and eat,” the other lifts the food they picked up on the way, one of them Gun’s favorite. He hands that off to New as he walks up to the smaller, “Gun, hey, pet,” he softly shakes his shoulder, keeping an arm behind him to prevent him from bumping into Off’s body, “Gun, wake up,” it seems to have worked as the younger startles, “Careful, you don’t want to hurt Off,” he holds him as he springs upright.

Wide, red-rimmed eyes blink up at him, “Tay, I… Off!” he turns around hurriedly, but relaxes again, so he rubs his irritated eyes, only to be stopped by Tay again, “I’m sorry, I should have – “

“It’s fine. We are all tired,” he strokes the small back, “You didn’t hurt Off, don’t worry. But you need to eat. And change, we brought you clothes,” he motions to New who steps up holding two bags.

Gun throws Off a last look, before letting go of his hand and slowly climbing off the hospital bed, “I don’t think I can eat right now,” he says as he reaches out for the clothes bag.

“You have too though. You need your strength to stay here with Peng You after all,” Tay smiles, “If not for your friends, do it for Off.”

“I will try,” the short sleep seems to have helped recover Gun a bit as he gives them a small smile, “Thanks for the clothes.”

“We weren’t sure which ones were yours, so we brought Off’s shirts,” New explains.

“It’s fine,” the smaller man digs through the bag, pulling out the colorful shirt first. He puts it in front of his face and smells it for a few moments. Off’s scent fills his senses and he lets out a deep breath. But the short-sleeved shirt is too cold for the air-conditioned hospital room, so he decides on the sweater. When he is reaching for his current shirt, his hands start to shake again though. Suddenly there are someone else’s hands on the hem. Tay helps him pull it over his head silently and Gun doesn’t acknowledge it any further. He puts the sweater on instead as the older takes the bloodied shirt before he can see it. The sleeves fall to cover his hands and the lower hem ends up at thigh height. It’s still Off’s clothes, so it’s too large on him, but at least it smells like Papii’s clothes always do. Taking a deep breath, he takes the pants that New hands him and goes to change in the small bathroom attached. When he comes back out, Tay hands him a carton with take-out food. They are silent as he forces down a few bites and the other two eat their portion.

“I can’t eat anymore,” he pushes the food away and Tay, who has already stopped eating as well, doesn’t try to force more. “You should sleep,” he tells his older friend as he sees the other’s eyes droop.

“I’m fine,” Tay startles up.

“You both need to sleep,” New corrects.

“I’m not leaving here,” Gun shakes his head, “But you can go.”

“I know, but I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“I’m not a little kid, I will be fine alone,” he isn’t sure whether to be amused or offended.

“Sure, but I can worry after all,” Tay smiles at him, “Arm will be here in about half an hour. He wants to see Off as well.”

Gun just nods at that, as New adds, “We’re leaving as soon as he’s here. And you should really sleep a bit.”

“I will be fine,” the younger repeats.

“We know that,” Tay ruffles his hair, “But you are our friend, just like Off. We worry about you both.”

It earns him a smile that he reciprocates. Gun has returned to holding Off’s hand so they just continue to sit there for some time, before their eyes wander back to their unconscious friend.

When it finally knocks on the door, Tay is once again dozing off on New’s shoulder and the younger is only doing slightly better. Gun looks up but relaxes when it’s Arm who enters. Doctor Thara already visited soon after Tay and New left. Arm is also pale, the stress of the day obvious on his face, but other than them he had little schedule the day before and got a full night of sleep.

“Hey,” he hugs Tay who meets him at the door, “You okay?”

Tay laughs, “I’m fine. Just tired. No need to worry about me.”

“Of course I do,” Arm smiles at him before darting nervous eyes at Off’s figure, “So he’s…”

“Sleeping for now. He lost a lot of blood and his body needs to replace it. But he will be fine,” he reassures his friend, “Nothing really can happen. I just need you to keep an eye on Gun. Try to get him to sleep if you can.”

“Sure, no problem,” Arm smiles, “You go to sleep as well before you get rings around your eyes.”

“I will try,” Tay nods, before walking over to give Gun a last hug, “Take care, pet. We will be back in the morning.”

“Goodnight, Tay, New,” he smiles a them as he hugs them with one arm, “Sleep well. See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, see you. Goodnight,” New waves as he nearly drags Tay out of the room.

“Are you doing okay, Gun?” Arm asks as he pulls up a chair to sit next to the younger.

“Okay, yeah, I guess,” he shrugs, “It’s not easy to see Papii like that, but I know he will recover and that’s enough for now.”

“That’s right. Let’s focus on that,” he smiles at his friend.

“Did the police talk to you?” Gun asks.

“They did. I…” he takes a shuddering breath, “I was looking at him when…” with a shaking hand he grips Off’s arm above his wrist, “I saw him take a drink and suddenly he… It looked like he simply stumbled backwards and then from one moment to the other, he went down. Just collapsed and disappeared behind everyone else,” his eyes tear up, “I didn’t realize what happened, but I ran anyway. I was there first, but when I saw the blood on his shoulder, I froze. I couldn’t move,” he shakes his head, “Others had to help Off and I –“

“Don’t blame yourself,” Gun calms him, “I wouldn’t have reacted any different. It’s normal. Papii will be fine. He would never blame you.”

“I know. He literally never would…” Arm smiles softly, “It’s unfair that this happened to him. And to you…”

“No one deserves this…” the younger muses.

“Maybe criminals do, I would think.”

“Even they have families and people who care about them.”

“You have too big a heart,” Arm shakes his head, wrapping an arm around his friend, “This isn’t important though. Off is nowhere near a criminal,” he reciprocates the other’s smile as he urges him to lean against him, “Anyway, how about you try to sleep a bit.”

“Not sure I can,” the smaller mumbles, but he already sounds drowsy.

“You already dozed off when you were trying to stay awake. I will keep an eye on Off and I will wake you if something changes, so you can actually relax now. I’m sure you’re exhausted enough to sleep.”

Gun is still shaking his head, but ten minutes later he has fallen asleep. His back and subsequently his whole body is leaning against Arm’s chest, the older supporting him and trying to keep him as comfortable as possible. He has pulled a blanket up to keep the smaller body in his arms warm. Gun’s hand is still intertwined with Off’s as they both sleep on.

Arm sits patiently like that for over an hour, his own limbs falling asleep under Gun’s weight. By now it is night from what he can see between the blinds over the window. The door opens again and a tired looking Thara enters. He bows and greets Arm, who only nods back before pointing to the sleeping man in his arms, placing one finger over his lips.

“I understand, but I need to change P’Off’s bandages before I end my shift. Can you maneuver him away without waking him?” the doctor says.

“I can try,” Arm agrees, carefully starting to wake his limbs up.

Very slowly he shuffles Gun around until the smaller is laying sideways over his lap. Whenever the younger stirs, he freezes and waits till the other has calmed down. Eventually he is essentially holding him princess-carry. Then he reaches over to loosen Gun’s hand from Off’s. The younger’s tight grip has relaxed in sleep so it is easy to break them apart. Gun groans in displeasure, but calms when Arm shushes him and pulls him closer. Thara gives him a thankful smile as Arm scoots away with his chair and Gun in his arms.

“Alright, let’s start,” the doctor mumbles, “Do you maybe want to leave the room while I work?”

“I don’t want to move Gun more than absolutely necessary in case I wake him. It will be fine, I will just look away if it gets too much.”

Thara nods before carefully opening Off’s hospital shirt. The skin underneath is abnormally pale to Arm’s eyes not to mention the giant bandage around the left shoulder and chest, secured around the other side of his chest and left arm. It’s already stained red at one spot. Slowly Thara unwraps the straps holding Off’s left arm in place, then the rest of the bandage, always making sure to not move him too much. When the padding underneath is finally taken away, Arm has to swallow. There are blood-encrusted stitches on his friend’s shoulder. He doesn’t want to think about it further, so he looks down at Gun’s sleeping face instead.

“I’m done,” Thara says eventually and Arm looks back up. The bandage has been rewrapped, hiding Off’s wound. He is just tying the hospital shirt close again. He gives them a tired smile as Arm thanks him. He checks on Off’s vitals again before bowing out of the room.

“Wait a second,” Arm calls out and Thara sticks his head back in.

“Yes?”

“Can I lay Gun on the bed next to Off? He needs to sleep. I have no problem letting my limbs fall asleep, but it might be more comfortable for him to stay on the bed.”

Thara seems to be debating with himself a few moments, “Can you take him home maybe?”

“I don’t think that would work. He would wake up and bring himself into a panic if Off isn’t there.”

The doctor sighs, “Fine, even if my supervisors would scold me for it. Just make sure that he doesn’t hit him on accident. The next nurse visit should be in about five hours. Take him off the bed again till then. If anything changes call the nurse with the button next to the bed.”

“Thank you,” Arm nods before the door finally closes.

He lifts Gun up, to position him on the mattress next to Off. Carefully he stretches him out and lays his hand back into the older’s unresponsive one. When the smaller man tries to nuzzle up into Off’s neck though he holds him back as he isn’t supposed to touch the unconscious man. The younger grumbles but settles down again as Arm tucks the blanket around him. Once again he settles back into his chair to watch the two of them sleep.


End file.
